As many of those I met at university graduated this year, or are continuing with their studies, I took some time to reflect.
If I’d stuck at university by this time I would have been a qualified Primary School Teacher, and if I was lucky enough I’d be teaching my own class by now. Yet I’m sat at my laptop as the night is getting later wondering where it all went wrong… but it didn’t!
Admittedly since dropping out of university, I’ve made many snap decisions that haven’t been for the best, I’ve made life choices I wouldn’t make again and I’ve spent more time in hospital than I ever imagined… but life goes on.
When I first dropped out it did tend to be one of those snap decisions, but it was one I knew was in the best interests of my mental health. It had been suffering and I’d been ignoring it, until I could no longer do that.
I thought I was a failure, that I’d let everyone down, and rather dramatically thought my life was over, and I’d never make the changes in the world that I’d want to: that I’d amount to nothing more than a statistic student dropout.
Life in limbo
Now I look back at that and laugh, but when your whole lifestyle suddenly changes and you’re in limbo, what else are you to think?
I had big dreams of not changing the world, but at least changing one person’s world, I thought I’d met my life long friends, and I thought I could overcome everything alone… I couldn’t have been more wrong.
There have been more twists and turns on my journey than I care to remember. I’ve met my life long friends but not at university and I’ve learnt that I can’t overcome everything by myself.
All I want you to know is if you’ve tried university life and it’s not for you, then definitely don’t waste years of your life carrying it through because you don’t want to be seen as a failure or let alone down. You’ll only be letting yourself down if you don’t pay attend to what’s right for you.
Yes you may finish with a degree, but one you didn’t want, at least 3 years of life wasted and thousands of pounds worth of debt for no reason. Especially if it’s at the cost of your health. Nothing is worth that!
For my my health had to come fist.
Although I’ve still got a long way to go in my recovery, I know I wouldn’t have made it without admitting I was suffering, and accepted help from professionals, family, and friends of which I couldn’t be more grateful of.
Choosing to put your health first is commendable. Life decisions do’t start or end with university, it’s such a small part. you’ll see.